“I’m under the weather,”–A tornado just flattened my house.
“Calm before the storm,–the time before your wife discovers the broken vase.
“Every cloud has a silver lining,”—but it’s still a cloud, dummy!
“It never rains but it pours,” –you just hope there isn’t golf-ball sized hail.
“It’s raining cats and dogs,”–Please, Heaven let it be Chihuahuas, and not St. Bernards.
“A storm is brewing,”—and the @#$%^&* TV weather guy said I wouldn’t need an umbrella.
“To steal someone’s thunder,”—why not just borrow it?
“Save for a rainy day,”—and hope you don’t get golf-ball sized hail.
“To be on cloud nine,”-when they’re waiting for you on cloud seven.
“Rain on someone’s parade,”—before they stomp on yours
“Come rain or come shine”—your mother made you wear your galoshes.
-Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co