Category Archives: Just a Thought

Give It Your Best

Hay que entregar la major información

Con todos sus elementos sin ocultar nada”

Jorge Joury, Argentine journalist, quoted in Teodulo Dominguez, Entre Periodistas, Editora Nieves, La Plata, Provincia de Buenos Aires, Republica Argentina, 1993, page 143.

“You have to give the best information With all its elements without hiding anything.”

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

Sure

The Word was:

So this guy thinks he’s big stuff when it comes to the English language. He goes around regaling people with his acumen. He meets a kind of dumb looking guy at a cocktail party and, after suitable time for warm up, the “intellectual” gets down to language training on the guy.

He asks: “Do you know that sumac is the only word in the English language that has a “sh” sound that is spelled with “su”?

The dumb looking guy replies: “Sure.”

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

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Relaxing With A Cool One

RELAXING WITH A COOL ONE

“I’m a simple man.  I don’t ask for much.  Give me a nice comfortable chair, a cool breeze, a ball game on the radio, and an ice-cold beer, and I couldn’t be happier.”

George Wendt, in the introduction to Drinking with George, a barstool professional’s guide to beer.

 

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

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A History of Skis

“After the last ice age, Stone Age hunters began strapping long pieces of wood to their feet to travel farther and faster over snow in pursuit of the game that flourished across Europe and Asia.”

“A History of Skis,” Mark Jenkins, National Geographic , December, 2013, Page 92.

 

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

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Here Are Some Toasts (With Root Beer)

TO THE PRESS:

“Here’s to the press: Truth publishe with honest motives and not for profitable ends.”

“Liberty to the press and success t5o its defenders.”

“May the liberty of the press never lack bold defenders.”

TO WISDOM:

“May we have the unspeakable good fortune to win a true heart and the merit to keep it>”

“May we never speak to decesive, nor listen to betray.”

From the Book of Toasts Philadelphia, David McKay, Washington Square, Edited by Paul E. Lowe, Ph.D. no date laisted.

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

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Don’t Look Now

By Larry Day

Some years ago a stand-up comedian who was known for his self-deprecating humor, was arrested for fighting in a bar after his show. The comedian had smacked his opponent in the face. When the case got to court and the judge asked the comedian how the fight started.

“He laughed at me,” said the comedian.

There are nearly five billion websites in cyberspace. There are more than a billion unique You Tube users on the planet. There are six billion hours of video in 61 languages on the World Wide Web.

In this interconnected world, millions of people use Internet to invite total strangers into their lives. They invite everyone from elderly Mongolians in Ulan Bator, to Argentine teenagers in Mar del Plata, to connect to their websites and view intimate details of their lives. Then these website owners are stunned to find out that crooks, scam artists, identity thieves, Internet marketers, and digital sales representatives have honed in on their websites and have exploited the information they found there.

That comedian became rich and famous by inviting audiences to laugh at his fabricated foibles. But when a stranger in a bar laughed at one of his real foibles, the comedian doubled his fists and started swinging. Lots of folks are like that comedian. They spread their personal information all over the Internet. But they get mad as hell when they hear that authorities are analyzing Internet data flow patterns to see if they can find information that might thwart a terrorist attack. Whoa. Whoa! That’s a violation of people’s privacy.

Finding out what constitutes acceptable government surveillance and what is considered unacceptable prying, is a valuable process. Most of that process is serious, but sometimes it can be funny.

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Consider this story: Back in 2010 forty-year-old Ginger Pitchfork of Mound Tree, Texas, phoned the U.S. Census Bureau to lodge a complaint. She said a census worker had called and asked about her marital status and her vaccination history. Ginger said that Census call was an unwarranted government intrusion into her privacy. What was hilarious was that at the time Ginger was operating a website that chronicled intimate details of her love life.

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And how about this?: A herd of pigs broke out of their sty on a Midwest farm and ran down to a four lane highway. Kurk and Wadley, a couple of forty-something city dwellers, were driving along in a heavy duty pickup truck and saw the pigs. They decided to round up the pigs and put them in the truck and drive them to a nearby stockyard.

Kurk and Wadley figured that since they had found the pigs on the highway it was a “finders keepers,” and they offered to sell the herd to the stockyard manager for $200.

The stockyard manager declined their offer, and retrieved ownership data from tattoos on the pigs’ ears. He called the owner. The owner was looking for the pigs and was not far from the stockyards. When he arrived, the owner thanked Kurk and Wadley, and gave them each$40. Then he loaded up his pigs and drove back to the farm.

Wadley and Kurk were fascinated and amazed. They didn’t know how the pigs had been identified. They jumped the conclusion that there was a government surveillance system so powerful that it could even keep track of an obscure herd of pigs.

Kurk and Wadley organized a series of workshops to tell their story. They told those who attended: “If the government can spy on a herd of Midwest pigs, what do you think it’s finding out about you and your family?”

After that, Wadley and Kurk found what they considered evidence of government surveillance in virtually every aspect of U.S. life. So they set up a network of vigilance websites to warn people of an impending dictatorship that would take over the country as soon as the government had processed all its surveillance data. Kurk and Wadley shut the website down after it become a target for stand-up comedians and late night talk show humor.

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

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Eric the Red, 21-Century Revisited

One of my favorite “Day Dreaming” characters is Eric the Red. When conceived, Eric had a different name and ethnicity. I changed both at the suggestion of my publisher. It turned out that the change enhanced both the comedic effect and the descriptive possibilities of the character. This from the book: “Sven was wearing an academic gown that had military epaulets on the shoulders, and a Viking helmet with America flags attached to the horns.” In the story “Eric the Red” whose name is Sven Torgelson comes back to Letongaloosa to warn me (we meet in a back booth at the Enchantment) that I am the target of a Mainland Patriotic Corps investigation. It seems that Patcorps had put me on its black list because I had subscribed to a liberal journal. Patcorps had put me on its white list for subscribing to a conservative journal. Apparently I had fouled up the organization’s vigilance apparatus. Apparently no one had ever been on both the black list and the white list before. It’s a fun story. You should read it.

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

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Seriously…

It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about important things.

Roger von Oech, Ph.D. A Whack on The Side Of The Head

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Business English

Verbosity wastes time and diminishes comprehension.

Use shorter versions of words and phrases:

Enclosed please find—Here’s

According to our records—We find

At an early date/At your earliest conveniences—Soon/Now

In the amount of—For

In the event of—If

In as much as—Since/Because

In our opinion—We believe

Etc, etc., etc.

–How to Think on your feet and Say What You

Mean—Effectively Communi-Vu, New York

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

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A Small Confession

Here’s a satric (all the media attention to the football player’s “dream girl” affair)

CONFESSION

I’d better confess before
the mass media spreads
it all over.  I’m having
a clandestine
intergalactic  e-mail
correspondence with
a female alien
on the planet Eu-bo
from the Xerxes Star System.

 

Dr. Larry day is a retired J-School professor turned humor writer. His book, Day Dreaming: Tales From the Fourth Dementia is available for purchase via his website: http://www.daydreaming.co

 

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