Over the years some of my columns have featured my robot friend KB11.2 (Kaybe) and other space aliens with whom I hang out at the Enchantment, a dingy roadhouse north of here. I occurred to me that I’ve never introduced Kaybe’s family. I’d like readers to get acquainted with them this holiday season in a four-part short story that is just “outta this world”!!
My Alien friend Kaybe looks like a giant tuna fish can. Erector Set arms sprout from the curved sides of his body. Three spindly legs drop from the flat underside of his stainless steel torso. He has ball bearing wheels for feet, and three sensor-eyes wave at you from the ends of floppy antennae on the top his lid.
Kaybe comes from the Alpha Centauri star system. Many years ago on a visit to Earth, Kaybe saved my marriage. We have been friends ever since. Kaybe communicates telepathically– his voice comes into your mind. When we speak English, Kaybe sounds like CNN’s Anderson Cooper. When we speak Spanish he sounds like the Mexican comedian Cantinflas.
We meet, as I said, in a back booth at the Enchantment where I spend quiet evenings sipping a soft drink. No one at the Enchantment pays any attention when Kaybe rolls up to my booth. Half the patrons are space aliens themselves, including the waitress, Four Finger Fannie, and customers Harry the Hulk and Miniature Mike.
Kaybe’s wife is named Zeeruba. They’ve been married for many an earth year. Zeeruba comes from Hebe, a minor planet in the Andromeda galaxy. She chose to keep her maiden name rather than become “Mrs. 11.2.”. Everyone calls her “Ms. Zee.” Zee is as square as Kaybe is round, but she has the same kind of ball bearing wheels for feet, and the same three sensor eyes that wave at you from the ends of floppy antennae on top or her lid.
Tune in tomorrow for Part II to find out what happens next to Kaybe in his Cosmic Christmas caper!!