Nosey Nelida and the Psychic©

Nosey Nelida and the Psychic©
By Larry Day
There’s a new psychic shop on Main Street in Letongaloosa. A
colorful neon sign in the plate glass window invites passersby to visit Psychic Clara Vidente. It was inevitable that the shop should attract the attention of Nelida Nacamora.
People in Letongaloosa have always called her “Nosey
Nelida.” At school her friends used to tell the inquisitive Nelida to “mind her own beeswax.” After she grew up Nelida continued to bug people. But they didn’t call her Nosey Nelida to her face anymore, which was just fine with her.
A few years ago Nelida’s incessant nosiness won her an
invitation to the White House. She had helped expose a nationwide
medical equipment scam that was costing the government millions
of dollars. The President presented Nelida with the Good and Faithful Citizen Award in a ceremony in the Oval Office.
Nelida was a no nonsense woman who didn’t believe in all that
mumbo jumbo and she intended to shut the psychic shop down.
She learned that bogus psychics use clients’ age, sex, body
language, conversation and clothing to help them make authentic
sounding readings. People told her that there were true psychics,
but Nelida didn’t believe them. People want to believe in psychics.
First off, Nelida created a cover. She would visit the psychic
shop as a demur, shy, woman named Emily.
A few days later, Nelida had completed her persona as
“Emily.” She wore tan jeans, brown wedge pumps, and a beige
cardigan. Her only make-up was a touch of neutral lipstick. Her
brown hair was combed straight back then tied in a tight roll at the back of her neck. She wore no watch and no jewelry, and there was clear polish on her nails. Nothing about Emily would give a bogus psychic a clue to jump start a reading. She looked like the woman she professed to be.
When Emily first stepped through the door of the psychic shop she
didn’t see anyone. The room was dimly lit and about 15 feet square.
The two side walls were painted black. The bottom half of the back
wall was covered with psychic merchandise. In the center of the
room was a table covered by a black cloth that reached to the
floor. Two straight back wooden chairs with black coverlets sat
opposite each other at the table. It was very quiet in the room.
“Welcome,” said a dusky voice.
Emily turned to her left and saw a woman of medium height.
She was wearing a green print blouse with small white squares and
blue jeans.
“I am Clara Vidente,” said the woman.
“Emily,” said Nelida simply.
“How can I help you?”
Nelida went into her routine: “I’m new at this. I hope to get in
touch with my Aunt Jane. She’s the only family I had. She died last
year. Can you summon people from beyond the veil?”
“Sometimes. Not always,” said Clara.
“Is it rude to ask how much it will cost?”
“No, not at all. A successful preliminary session usually takes
half an hour and costs $40,” said Clara Vidente.
“I’d like to try.”
“Sit down,” Clara indicated the chair on the far side of the
table. She sat with her back to the window. For a few minutes there was silence. Then Clara spoke.
“Does the name Saul mean anything to you?”
There was a long pause. Nelida was flustered, but she tried to
keep her voice calm, “No. No one named Saul.”
“Your Cousin Saul says, ‘Cut the crap, Nelida. You still have that
scar on the palm of your hand that you got when we sneaked over
that farmer’s fence to steal watermelons.’”
“Ohhhhhhhhhhh,” said Nelida, and slumped back in her chair.
“Saul says to tell you ‘Hoopsy Doodle Doddle Dawg.’ And
congratulations on becoming famous. He says you always were a
go getter.”
“Hoopsy Doodle ,” whispered Nelida
After a long silence Clara said, “Will that be cash or credit
“Cash,” said Nelida. “Can I come again tomorrow?

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